Resolution (noun) 1. the act of resolving or determining upon an action, course of action;
a decision or
determination; firmness of purpose. --Dictionary.com
This year I’m going to try to carry out just one New Year’s
resolution. Only one. That’s a big change from my usual tradition of penning a
long list of resolutions in a frenzy of self improvement on January 1st
, followed by a crash and burn on January 2nd. Or maybe I make it to the third, if I’m lucky. Lose
weight? Pass the Cheetos, please. Go to the gym? Too cold outside. Read more—only
when my Netflix show is over. Save more money? Have you seen those January
sales?!
I’m like most of the rest of humanity. My resolutions usually
fail. Good intentions but bad follow through. Sound familiar? So this year my single
resolution is radically different. It will cost nothing. Require no expensive
gym membership, nor some high concept/low taste diet. No rice cakes or kale or coconut
water. Instead of prohibiting a well worn behavior, this resolution is positive.
Nor will I need to search on Amazon for the right self help book to get me
started. It’s a resolution that offers instant payback too: goodwill, hope, and
joy even.
Be it resolved: to be more kind in the year ahead. Kindness.
That’s it. What do you think? Can I do it? Can you do it? Can we do it? Be more kind in all our daily interactions
with the rest of humanity? Or as my wise faith teacher taught: “Do unto others as
you would have them do unto you.” I warned you it was radical!
To hold our tongue when we are tempted to judge, critique, put
down or accuse. Open the door for
someone who needs help. Offer your seat to any one who needs to take a load off
their feet. Assume the best about others
and their intentions. Never miss a chance to praise or give thanks. Go high
when an opponent goes low. Be curious, not suspicious, about one who is
different. Listen to a person when they are talking to you. Eyes off the phone.
Ears open too. Let others go first while you take the last place in line. Smile
more, frown less. Buy lemonade from the neighborhood kids and cookies from the
Girl Scouts. Always. Give to charity generously, and then give even more. Be
gracious in defeat, humble in victory. Volunteer. Do something nice when no one
is looking. Pray for an enemy. Forgive quickly. Defend the vulnerable and weak.
Guide the lost. Be a kindness role model for the young.
I’m inspired to try this kindness resolution for one simple
reason: 2016 was a year filled with so much unkindness. Like the absolute worst, nastiest election
I’ve ever witnessed in my lifetime. In
tenor, tone and temperament, from the candidates, to the media, to the voters,
the campaign was awful. Every nasty word that could be uttered; every mean
spirited thought that could be expressed; every cruel epithet that could be
hurled, it was all said. Nothing held back. Kindness does seem in very short
supply: hate crimes go up and simple civility goes down. Terrorism scares us into suspecting anyone
whom we deem as “foreign”. Social media
feeds us a daily diet of self-righteous rants and trolls, who like nothing
better than to anonymously slam a fellow cyber space inhabitant.
I confess that our current political and social landscape
tempts me to just roll over, throw up my hands in despair, or worse, become
cynical, apathetic. Maybe even unkind.
Hence this singular resolution. I
cannot control the behavior of our leaders or anyone else for that matter. But
I can choose, we can all choose, decide, to be kind.
Like a good friend of mine: every day since the election,
when she gets in the drive thru line at Dunkin’ Donuts, she pays for the coffee
of the person in the car behind her. Someone surprised her with this single act
of kindness and now she is committed to
paying it forward. She has no idea if the beneficiary of her gift is
cranky or angelic, a Democrat or a Republican, shares her faith or has no
faith. But still she is kind. KIND. With
a cup of coffee.
Will her one act of kindness end the war in Syria or defeat
the bullies or save the world? Not right away and yet: she is doing what she
can. She trusts and believes that kindness shared always grows. Kindness is infectious and begets more
kindness in an amazing ripple effect. Kindness is fun. Kindness expands the heart and the soul.
Kindness creates hope, for the giver and the recipient. Kindness is what her
God teaches her to do. Kindness is her radical
act of resistance.
Resolved: in 2017, may we all be more kind to each other. I know
I must try. Are you up for a little kindness? If we struggle to fulfill this
resolution, just remember the advice of the author Henry James. “Three things in human
life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the
third is to be kind.”
To a Happy (and Kinder) New Year!