“Remember to breathe. It is after all, the secret of life.” --Gregory Maguire, “A Lion Among Men”
Breathe. Air in. Air out. Repeat.
On the days in this life when I am feeling anxious, or feeling like the world is out control, or when I am wondering just where the heck God is and when is God showing up; those are the days I most need to remember to just breathe. And this is certainly a week I know that I MUST remember to breathe.
Just breathe. Air in. Air out. Repeat.
Breathe and connect myself to this present moment, the only moment that is real. Past is past, long gone, out of my hands and the future isn’t here yet, and though I far too often assume the worst of outcomes is coming, that story isn’t written yet.
Yes, absolutely in these fraught times, I need to do all I can as a person of faith, to work for God and hope and peace and justice and mercy, in my life, in our shared life as citizens and neighbors. Jesus calls me to push back against bullies who would hurt and hate. In a way my activism and my vote are akin to civic breathing. Community dies when we forget how to breathe with and for one another. Community thrives when we remember we all share a common body, a commonwealth, common breath.
So, I am reminding myself to just breathe today and then tomorrow too, and then on and on and on. Day by day. Minute by minute. Even second by second.
Breathe and listen for God’s spirit in my inhalation and exhalation. Sometimes when I pray, I can be a bit verbose with God, get all wordy, ask all kinds of questions, even demanding, all kinds of answers. Then I can treat God as some kind of divine “room service” of sorts.
But other times my best prayers are simply like breaths, offered straight up to heaven, and then in the quiet, I listen for the breath of God in response, I suppose, to return to me on earth. Trusting not so much in God’s absolute answers but more so trusting in God’s absolute presence. Having faith that God is right here in this world, right within me, and within you, and within our communities, and as close as, well...
A breath.
Breathe.
A confession. At times in my adult life, I’ve struggled with actually forgetting how to breathe. Some call these episodes “panic” attacks. Then I can get anxious. Then I breathe faster. Then that makes me more worried. Then that makes me breathe even faster. Then that can lead to panic, feeling as if life is just closing in on me. Or that I am responsible for everything, everyone, forgetting God’s got this.
Then I have breathing amnesia somehow and so I have to learn again, be guided by someone, recall and practice how to breathe well. Calmly. Slowly. Clearly. That’s a lesson I’ve had to learn, and remember, especially when things seem bleak, or when I am convinced that God has left the house and that I am all alone.
I can’t breathe because I am afraid. Or I can breathe and be courageous.
“Be still and know that I am God…” the psalmist wrote. Could also be “Breathe and know that I am God.” I like that too. To see breathing itself as an act of faith and resistance, a declaration that no matter what, God is here, God is with and in us, and God will give us the spiritual tools, energy, and wisdom to do what we must do. To fight the bad. To embody God’s common good.
But first, we have to breathe.
This is a big week for our nation and our world. I am praying and hoping and working for an outcome in this election that reflects the goodness of God and the goodness of humanity. It is not clear that this will be the reality. It may not be clear the next day or even the next week.
So, God, just help me to breathe. This day. To just breathe.
Air in. Air out.
The Reverend John F. Hudson is Senior Pastor of the Pilgrim Church, United Church of Christ, in Sherborn, Massachusetts (pilgrimsherborn.org). He blogs at sherbornpastor.blogspot.com and is a resident scholar at the Collegeville Institute at Saint John’s University in Collegeville, Minnesota. For twenty-five years he was a columnist whose essays appeared in newspapers throughout Massachusetts and Rhode Island. He has served churches in New England since 1989. For comments, please be in touch: pastorjohn@pilgrimsherborn.org.
