Ritual is necessary
for us to know anything. –Ken Kesey
Eggnog.
For me it’s not really Thanksgiving Day until I take that
first sip of eggnog. On Turkey Day I’ll
down at least one tall glass of this yellowish thick concoction, maybe
more. I’ll use it to sweeten my coffee
too. That’s one of my rituals. One thing I’ve done every single Thanksgiving Day
since I can remember. I’ve no idea exactly when this personal ritual
began. After fifty three Thanksgiving Days, all
that eggnog and turkey and mashed potatoes and pie blurs together in
memory.
But a Thanksgiving without eggnog, this belly busting,
artery clogging drink that weighs in at 225 calories per eight ounce serving?
Perish the thought. I need Thanksgiving.
Even more, I need the rituals of that day. Traditions. Familiar comfort foods. Family I’ve missed
and am so happy to see again. The Macy’s Parade on TV in the morning, then watching
football, after the table is cleared and we all go comatose on the couch. The
ritual of old friends who come and stay for a couple of days. Grace before we
eat, when each of us names one thing we are truly grateful to our God for.
Ritual. I can’t imagine life without cherished rituals: at
the Thanksgiving table, in faith, in all things. Can you?
Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines ritual as, “a sequence
of activities involving gestures, words, and objects, performed…according to
set sequence.” Translation: a ritual is
something that we do again and again and again, which somehow anchors us in
this ever changing life. Grounds us. An
action repeated. Familiar prayers prayed.
A meal shared. Ancient rites revisited. In ritual, we return to the
familiar, feel at home, safe. Like we’ve
arrived back at a place that we must revisit: to remind us who we are, what
matters, what lasts.
I’m a bit embarrassed to name all the various rituals I
practice. I love ritual whether sacred or secular, profound or playful. Faith based rituals give me meaning. Worshipping on the Sabbath almost every week.
Ending Christmas Eve every single year with “Silent Night” and a flickering
candle in hand. Reciting Psalm 23 at a
funeral and finding comfort in these 2,000 year old words: “Yea though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil….”
Self-made rituals too. I always give the
book “Curious George” to new babies in my extended circle of family and
friends. Always pop a deviled egg in my
mouth first thing at a church reception.
Always drink diet Dr. Pepper and munch cheddar cheese Combos at the
airport. Always read the New
York Times newspaper every Sunday afternoon.
Rituals can be
easy to take for granted. Reject as old school, old fashioned, stuffy. There is
always a danger in practicing unexamined ritual: mumbling through dusty prayers
at church or carrying on some family ritual which no longer fits. The best
rituals are always examined and renewed, passed down from generation to
generation, owned by those in the present day.
Don’t like a ritual? Bored with it? Start a new one. Invent a new tradition with your clan. Rituals are “do it yourself”. Or step back
into a ritual you’ve lost or need to find again. Go back to your faith. Remember again a childhood prayer and then
teach it to your kid. Only you can figure out what rituals work best, carry the
most meaning.
But the point is clear: to be human is to live by ritual, in
ritual, and through ritual. No ritual?
No life. Not really.
So what Thanksgiving Day rituals are you most
anticipating? An old family recipe
passed down from Mom to son, grandfather to granddaughter. Touch football on the lawn. Delivering a bag full of groceries to the
local food pantry. Inviting someone to
the table who may have no where else to go.
Jumping for joy when your child returns home from being away. The yearly board game after the meal. Trekking out to the mall in the dawn’s early
light to find a bargain.
All good. All precious rituals for the living of this
day. So Happy Thanksgiving, and can you
please pass the eggnog?!
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