--Merriam-Webster.com
Go ahead. Ask them.
Ask the women in your life--moms and sisters, wives and
friends, daughters and neighbors: as a man, ask them, if, as women, they've
ever experienced sexual harassment. A
leering look or sexually charged remark from a boss. An invite from a married
male colleague for drinks after work. A
dirty joke shared in mixed company designed to embarrass or shock. An outright pass from a supervisor with the
unspoken or spoken understanding that if said pass is accepted one's career
might just advance faster.
Ask. And then just
listen.
I guarantee much of the time you will be shocked by the
responses, by the truth that unwanted sexual attention by men towards women in
the workplace is still so much more prevalent and common than society, and men,
want to face up to. Almost all the women I know have at least one such story to
share, often many more. The fact it takes
revelations around a Harvey Weinstein to remind us of this ongoing reality is
all the more sad. Weinstein is the now quickly
falling and fading mega-powerful Hollywood producer whose apparently well deserved
reputation as a lothario and harasser of women, was first reported in a
blockbuster New York Times story last
week.
His story might be more shocking if it wasn't so typical. A
powerful man uses the power of his position to intimidate, harass, or exploit
women. It can be a producer or the
President, a minister or a CEO, a blue collar boss or a white collar manager.
The setting matters less than the power dynamic, a relationship within which
the one who has less power is subtly or not so subtly pushed or threatened to
"just play along" for if they do not, the implication is clear. Careers will be delayed, detoured, derailed or
destroyed.
The time for self congratulation as a society is over, the comforting
myth that we've come "so far".
Yes, the atmosphere in many workplaces is "better" for women,
better than in generations past and yet still this stubborn societal sin of
harassment (and its twin, bias) hangs
on. We may not be in the age of "Mad Men" any more but in so many
major industries, women are grossly underrepresented in circles of power: high
tech, government, filmmaking, and religion, to name but a few. This dearth of
female leadership creates an atmosphere within which harassment easily flourishes,
a locker room mentality. It's far too
easy and normative for "boys to be boys" when boys are the only
people in the room.
I've been blessed in my life to be surrounded by smart,
committed, ambitious and talented women, both in my family and in my work. I've
grown up in a faith that declares the call by God to serve others has nothing
to do with gender and everything to do with faithfulness. And I do so want to
live in a world where all of us are given the chance to become who God makes us to be, without any fear
or any prejudice. That's the vision. That's the hope. For me.
But even more important, that's the hope for Chloe and
Caroline and Emily and Kara. For Barb
and Kathy and Lynne and Claire and Mary.
For Mom and Aunt Carol and Nancy and Linda. Who are the women in your life who need to
tell you their story? Who need to be heard? And more important, who needs to
soar, to simply be given the chance to take the talents and the gifts that
their God has given them and then succeed? Shine?
Go ahead. Ask. And then...listen to their stories.
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