“I asked for wonders
instead of happiness, Lord, and you gave them to me.”
--Abraham Joshua
Heschel
I wished for the gift of happiness this past holiday season
but instead, life gave me a much better gift: meaning.
Note: I am still absolutely happy about the panini maker my
niece Emily gave me. It was exactly what I asked for and what I wanted. This January
I’ll no doubt be happy for warm grilled cheese sandwiches on chilly nights. But
it’s the meaning behind that gift I most cherish, what it represents and
embodies for me. That I’ve been blessed to watch her grow up into an amazing
young woman over so many Christmas mornings spent with family. That I am tied
to her and she to me: by blood, by memory, by love. Year by year, decade after
decade. Wasn’t she just the toddler whom I was reading a new book to, and now she is off to graduate school?
Meaning: to be oriented to something bigger in this life
than self alone. Happiness: to seek to feel good. What gift do we most desire, wish
for?
That’s a question many of us face in the New Year. How can we just be happier? What can we do,
or not do, or change, for a happy 2017? Switch careers and get that new
job. Lose weight and feel better about
our appearance. Save more cash and then
we’ll be happy. Make more money, attain
a magic income level and happiness will kick in. We humans put a lot of spiritual
and emotional energy into happiness, which makes sense, because happiness is
the most important goal of life and is always just around the next corner. Right?
At least that’s what I’ve been told; what I’ve been sold on too.
Search on Amazon for a happiness self help book and we’ve
got 96,821 results to choose from. “Find
your bliss” a guru proclaims. If it
feels good, do it. If a substance can
make you feel happier, even temporarily, smoke it or drink it or pop it. We want our kids to be happy above all else, correct? “Happy, Happy, HAPPY!” one mega hit song blissfully
proclaims. What the cure for the blues? Shopping of course, happiness found in
a thing! Even our Declaration of Independence enshrines the pursuit of
happiness as a citizen’s birthright and duty.
But might there be more to life, in life, than a quickly
opened gift on Christmas morning? Less
frenzied chasing after happiness. More
intentional work to find true meaning.
To be a part of something bigger than ourselves, like a
family that is both beautiful and broken and asks for hard work and commitment
over the long haul. A faith that calls us to serve and sacrifice for others in
the world, and not merely work for personal salvation alone. A job that’s difficult
many days, but one which pushes us to deepen our skills and talents. Or life as a citizen that inspires us to
embrace our mutual responsibilities more and our individual rights less.
Meaning? Happiness?
I’m not promoting a life of anti-happiness, some dour Puritan
existence, all toil, no fun. But here’s a
lesson I’ve learned in my one life: while a singular pursuit of happiness
rarely brings meaning, the pursuit of meaning almost always gifts us with
happiness, and even better, a deep satisfaction and contentment that can last a
lifetime, even beyond one lifetime.
I just can’t imagine showing up at the pearly gates after my
death, and having Saint Peter ask me, “So John: were you happy?” No: instead I think, I hope, that I’ll instead
be asked, “Did you live a life of meaning and purpose? Did you use the one life
you were given for something greater than momentary happiness?”
To seek happiness. To seek meaning. In the year to come, may we choose wisely. May
we choose well.
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