“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” --from “Network”, 1976 film
Twitter tirades. Facebook fulminations. MSNBC madness. Fox News fury. New York Times nincompoop naming. A Wall Street Journal jeremiad. CNN cantankerousness.
Yup. These days it feels like if you are not angry about something in the culture, or very po ’ed about the latest political development or super outraged about the news this morning, well, you are not really alive, right? Not really paying attention because if you were reading about or viewing or listening to the real state of our country and state of our world right now, then of course!
You are mad as hell, and you are not going to take it anymore!
It does seem that the collective temperament temperature of our nation right now, all Creation in fact, is hot, hot, hot, and still rising. Anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers taking to the streets and loudly shouting down opponents at public protests and school committee meetings. Pro-vaxxers and pro-maskers shaming the vax reluctant or the vax fearful, that often only stiffens the resolve of those not wanting to get a shot or to mask up. Republicans upbraiding Democrats as socialist and Democrats pegging Republicans as heartless.
Take any front-page issue—the fall of Afghanistan or the infrastructure bill still awaiting passage by the Congress or the patchwork of COVID protocols across the country. Then listen to the communal dialogue. I’m right and you are wrong. I’m smart and you are stupid. I’m enlightened and you are dim-witted. I’m on the correct side of history and you are positively prehistoric in your opinions.
There’s a newly coined term to describe such collective and personal states of mind: “maddiction”, offered by Jeremy E. Sherman, writing in Psychology Today magazine this month. As he writes, “Maddiction is the addiction to getting mad at others for exhilarating exoneration. The more outraged we are at others, the purer we feel. The purer we feel, the more we assume it's our duty to be outraged at others.”
We know what maddicts look like. Red faced, voices raised, fingers pointed, mouths opened and shouting and spittle flying. We know what maddiction looks like in our current news media universe. Just tune into one of the cable news stations and within minutes you are guaranteed to see a line-up of talking heads, each speaking from their own on-screen box, each either righteously agreeing with the other pundits, or shouting down, and mocking their video enemies.
It’s not that outrage is always a bad thing. Just since last summer, there have been a slew of events that demand communal and individual response, and sometimes, anger. The killing of George Floyd and the racism seemingly hardwired into our national DNA. Runaway climate change and the earth burning up. Deadlocked politicians so invested in their own agendas that they fail to have the moral imagination to work for the common good. And yes, in religions too, like my own, that claim to have a lock on God’s truth and then exclude all “non-believers”.
But here’s the rub. After you’ve satiated your anger by smashing all the dishes against the wall in the kitchen to express just how outraged you are feeling, well, what then? After the yelling, after the accusations, after the protest, after the diatribe, after the rage. Because if the very next thing you do is move on to the next thing to smash up, the next opponent to verbally crucify, you are probably a maddict. Stuck in a closed loop of anger that only leads to more outrage. And the hope for a solution, for healing, or finding answers to our common problems?
Outrage won’t get us there.
Because if it is all too easy to get outraged, it is all too hard to actually listen to and hear the other. To close one’s mouth and open one’s heart and mind to the opposition. Think of vaccinations. What works better? Showing fury to someone because they refuse to get a COVID vaccine? Calling them backwards or selfish? Or maybe…. how about curiosity? Asking them, “What is keeping you from getting a shot? What more information do you need to make a good decision? How can I support you in getting to a place of trust and acting for the good of all of us, together?”
Faith, spirituality, and ethics work best when these teach us and give us the tools to get to “yes” in a conflict. These remind us we are all children of God, regardless of our viewpoints. Faith teaches me that when facing into outrage, my own and others’, maybe the first person I need to convict is not the one across the table, but me. I need to look within myself.
I abhor racism but how do I participate in it? I’m fed up with political gridlock but am I open to finding compromise and consensus across the aisle? I’m worried about climate change but am I driving less and biking or walking or carpooling more?
At some level all of us are a part of the problem of outrage but by reigning in rage and taking a deep breath and stopping to be thoughtful, we can all be a part of reconciliation too. Working for the greatest good for the greatest number of our fellow human beings.
Still mad as hell?
First, put down the rock. Pick up the olive branch. Have courage and humility and reach out to the one who is the focus of your ire. Then let peace begin with me and let peace begin with you.
My name’s John and I’m a recovering maddict.
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