In the Waiting Room of Life, We All Need a Little Kindness

“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness.”          --Charlie Chaplin

Last week I found myself sitting in the waiting room at a local hospital, getting ready to undergo a minor medical procedure. The waiting room. At one time or another we all arrive there, either for ourselves or in support of a loved one or friend. Waiting rooms are microcosms of the human condition, especially humans in need. Humans in fear or anxiety. Humans who need the body healed, no doubt, but the soul cared for too, with a little gentleness and a little kindness.

I saw those qualities on display that day, in the hour I sat waiting to be ushered in for my test. Like two old friends who spoke animatedly, intimately, as they sat knee to knee to knee, holding each other’s hand, passing the time before a scan was to take place. An adult son sat next to his elderly father, as his Dad did the crossword to pass the time. No words spoken: just quiet presence. Two patient and kind receptionists dealt with the ocean of humanity that came through the hospital’s revolving front door. No matter the question or complaint or concern, all I saw from them was smiles as they interacted with all those folks. And then there were the nurses, who would walk into the room, call out a name, and when a person stood, that caregiver greeted them, placed a hand on the small of the patient’s back, simple touch to calm the spirit.

I’m not quite sure why I was so taken with the love and respect I saw that long afternoon, experienced myself as well. Maybe it’s because in our fast paced and often sharp elbowed world, to witness such face to face care was a reminder how all of us need a little TLC, especially when facing the unknown. Perhaps it’s because absent from that room, thank God, was the blare and buzz of an oversized TV hanging from the wall, tuned into a news station, anchors breathlessly telling us what we were supposed to fear or be vexed about that day. What public space has not been invaded by this incessant buzz of the media?

But I think what most impressed me about such simple human decency, was it belied the story we’re telling ourselves in 2019: that Americans have just forgotten how to talk to each other, be with each other, care for each other, watch out for each other, serve each other, just be civil.  It’s easy to believe this trope about widespread incivility.

All you have to do is listen to the coarse and crude and mean-spirited language that passes for discourse among our civic leaders. When the commander in chief labels members of his own political party “human scum”, or the press the “enemy of the people”, or an American city “a disgusted, rat and rodent infested mess”, it’s tempting to imagine that he’s pulled down the rest of the country to his level of cruelty and malice.

But down here, at the local level, in the myriad of places normal human beings find themselves day to day, like in a waiting room or a waiting line or at high school football game or just standing in the front yard talking to a neighbor? Here, I believe, most of us want to be kind, want to be gentle, want to be wanted in the sometimes messy scrum called human life. We want to hold the door for a stranger. We need the chance to allow that merging car to squeeze into traffic and then get a little wave of thanks.  We all desire just a little human connection, even if it is only a “How ya doin’?” offered to the hardworking clerk who every morning delivers hot and fresh coffee to us as we go through the drive-thru.

Because then we remember we’re all in the waiting room, in a way. Waiting, hoping for a time when kindness will be the rule and not the exception in life. Waiting, praying for the day when governments and citizens will go out of their ways to be gentle, compassionate, and merciful, in how they treat fellow children of God, especially “the least of these”, fellow members of the human family. Like refugees fleeing violence or the poor in our cities, or folks who lack health insurance, or veterans needing a grateful welcome home or just a stranger on our border seeking a cold cup of water.

The best traditions of faith and spirituality always teach us that how we treat and speak about these our neighbors: that is the mark of a great person and a great nation. Not big bucks. Not flexed military might. Not terrible Twitter tantrums. All the best life asks for is this: for us collectively and individually to show just a little kindness and a little gentleness.    

Because eventually? All of us end up in the waiting room. So, let’s be kind. Let’s be gentle.