“On Thanksgiving Day, we acknowledge our
dependence.” – William Jennings Bryan
Seventeen people, give or take a few souls. That’s how
many folks will sit around my Thanksgiving table this year. And here’s a confession before the big meal.
I need them. Really need them.
I need every single one of those guests, every last
person who will claim chez Hudson for a meal and maybe a game of Scrabble and
definitely some football on the TV, Thursday.
I need them all. I depend upon them all. I cannot
imagine my life without all of them in it. You might even say I’m needy when it
comes to these folks I love, these people who are among the most important in
my life. Yes, I’m needy, needful, need-based, a “needer”, though I’m not quite
sure if that last term is really a word. It should be.
I’m actually kind of proud of being so needy.
I certainly need my 84 year old Mom, she who with
tender love and deep wisdom to share, has shaped me into the person I am today.
Definitely need her. Her pumpkin pie too. My sister is coming to dinner, my
older sib who always watches out for me. She’s in my need circle, though I’m
not sure I’ll ever like her squash casserole. Sorry sis.
And there’s my friends whom I absolutely need: grad
school buds whom I’ve shared Thanksgiving with for more than thirty years. Old,
old friends who’ve always invited me to be a part of their families. Friends: I
need them because they are forever reminding me that I am so much more than I
might think I am, especially when I am hard on myself or just down about life.
My friends will all show up heavy laden: with scrumptious homemade rolls and
spices for the turkey and fresh brussels sprouts. Note: I may need brussels sprouts
but I definitely do not want brussels sprouts. Nope.
There will be lots of kids at the table too. Truth be
told they are not kids anymore. In the
cycle of life, they are now young adults, though I admit I wish I could still
read to them like I used to…when they’d squeeze in next to me on the couch and
want to hear about “Curious George” or Dr. Seuss. I needed them then, still do
now, for their unconditional love. Now they are college students taking a break
from the grind of classes or work for a few days of rest and they will bring
their friends too. I need them all. I am so proud of them all. I get to watch
them all grow up too. Wow. Thanks God.
It’s
funny how our world takes words like need, or needy or dependent, and so often
marks them as negative or an insult or code for human weakness. She is so
needy! Every man for himself! Who wants to be dependent on others? Survival of
the fittest, others be damned, especially the needy, the poor, the powerless, the
lonely, the last ones in line, right?
Wrong.
At least in the world I want to live in. A world where we recognize and
celebrate how much we need each other. A world where we remember we cannot live,
if not for the folks in our lives, they who raised us up, who stick by us
through the thick and thin, in ill health and good health, in days of plenty
and days of want; friends and family whom we so need and who need us too.
Come
meal time on Turkey Day, here’s what’ll happen.
Every
available surface on my dining room table will be covered with a heaping pile
of turkey on a platter and steaming bowls of carrots and a mountainous container
of mashed potatoes and gelatinous cranberry sauce on a plate. Then someone at the
table will ask, “Who’s saying grace?” and I will ask each person around the
table to share what they are most thankful for.
I
do it every year.
Guaranteed
my Mom will choke up and all of us will listen in gratitude and grace as we
talk about our blessings, especially the blessings of being loved and knowing
love and giving love. We’ll offer these
prayers to the God from whom all blessings flow, the God I know I need, absolutely.
Then we’ll dig in, aware of how wonderful it is to need one another.
Need.
We all need to need others. We all need to be needed.
Happy
Thanksgiving!
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